Please, oh Please Give us More Bizarre Oscar Fashion

Whenever there is a major event in Celebrityville, all eyes are on one thing: the starlets’ choices in fashion. With the Academy Awards just around the corner, we’re gearing up for the now-standard verbal evisceration of the stars' fashion choices. 

We certainly “ooh” and “ahh” over our favorite designs, but those who make bolder (or occasionally, more traditional) choices are often slammed in the media for their clearly offensive behavior. 

Now, some think things would be a whole lot simpler if Gwyneth Paltrow had just worn a bra, Celine Dion had put her damn shirt on straight, and Lizzy Gardiner hadn’t assembled her dress with...American Express Cards?? 

Here’s the thing, though. These getups are actually more entertaining than half of the ceremony — let’s be honest, most of us are in it to see these actors’ real-life emotions… and we totally relish in the tears (many of us openly sniffling in chorus). As much as we would like to envision ourselves as the culture that anxiously sits on the edge of its seat to find out who will win Best Film Editing… we just aren’t. 

So it would seem we are biting the hand that feeds us — we cut down those who wear the weird and wacky, yet we for one can say that if Oscar fashion becomes half as boring as the actual ceremony, you can count us out.

There is already buzz about the lackluster sheen of this year’s Academy Awards, so perhaps 2014 in particular will be a year for the bizarre to shine. To be frank, not many of these movies had us gasping for air (even Gravity, with all its imminent suffocation threats, had us yawning ‘til the end — an ending that was utter bullsh*t, by the way), so we’re looking forward to uneven hemlines, awkward sheerness, uncomfortable fits and barking colors to keep us tuned in. Prep the popcorn, pop the champagne and stock up the tissues, because bad fashion and sad speeches are coming up on the menu.

Image: Wikimedia

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